Hoarders

A flood in our basement ruined everything down there because it went undetected for months. (Sadly, having watched too many horror flicks, I made it a point to NEVER EVER go down there or to be THAT chick.)  As a result, all of our Christmas ornaments, my wedding dress, a library filled with children’s books, and lots of toys and clothes in storage smelled like a lumberjack camp with rows of soggy, feet cheesed stockings hanging on a clothesline draped over a hot stove pipe to dry.  No, actually, everything in the basement smelled like a lumberjack’s underbritches, after he strained just a little too hard, hung over a hot stove pipe to dry.

What was salvageable in 2011 was hauled upstairs and chucked into the garage stalls to dry out.  Over time, this created a convenient place to pitch all the stuff that dared to get in our way. 

After closing a couple of businesses and tossing the bones into the second and third garage stalls, we couldn’t park a car in there anymore and, worse, I couldn’t find anything anymore.  The aha moment came in 2014 after watching an episode of Hoarders.  It was just like  looking into a crystal ball.  The woman on TV was me!  She, too, had to wind up like a discus thrower in the Olympics just to put away the hedge trimmers.   We were doomed unless I could find a superhero.     1-800-College Hunks.

When was the last time two men called

you on their way over

to ask if they could stop and bring you

a coffee or some hot breakfast?

EXACTLY

It was 20 degrees outside with blowing winds out of the north–and just like the postman’s lore about sleet and snow, my hunks delivered.  They tossed out trash, carted off furniture and furnishings for donation, and filled our black trailer to the top with items to be auctioned.

Tonight, our neighbors in Buffalo, NY got five feet of snow in 24 hours with another three feet expected.  I’m feeling so lucky to have dodged that bullet.  We’ve got about six inches of snow and now our cars are sleeping in the garage, side-by-side, snug as a bug in a rug.  The fact that I won’t need an icebreaker to pry open the driver’s door in the morning…PRICELESS.