Eggs 101


Every morning I wander out to our chicken coop to check for eggs.  One thing I’ve learned (the hard way) is to look first before reaching into the nest boxes.  One time I opened the latch on the egg door and started my reach just as I started bending over to look…a ditch tiger was in there hissing.  Who knew cats ate eggs!    Several times I’ve come close to petting a racoon and one time a smelly, dirty possom gave me a heart attack.  You just never know what you are going to get despite the best security plans.   After that possom almost killed me, I went electric.  Now those egg sucking bastards can fry.

Here’s a real oldie!

The thrill of seeing what has been set, of rustling the hens up off of their nests or reaching under their warm, soft bellies if they are feeling especially maternal, hasn’t left me after 20 years of pretending to be a poultry farmer.  Sometimes there are more browns than whites and sometimes the opposite, but after gathering up a fresh clutch of eggs, I always say, “Thank you,” to my girls.

Baby chicks each spring!

The eggs click and roll against each other and rattle in the metal bucket I carry as I walk back up the side yard to the house.  Remi turns into a boot licker when she hears the clatter, so I end up tossing her a tasty treat.   These eggs have been scrambled, whipped, boiled, fried, dropped, poached, flipped, and turned into the best noodles ever!  They have fed my whole family.  Over the years I have found a tricky way to make hard boiled eggs and I wanted to share my super secret technique with you.   Holidays and summer picnics will be here before the rooster crows so jot this down!

The best way to make hard boiled eggs

is in the  O V E N !!




Place these delicious ovals in a muffin tin, pop into a preheated 325 degree oven for 25-30 minutes.

The shells will peel easier after cooling and the taste is ten-fold any water boiled egg. 

Just thinking about the goop that oozes from eggs if they crack while boiling, and then remembering how  the ooze turns into rubber, gives me the willies.


After your eggs are cooled, why not have some holiday fun by making carrot tops for them?  Use cloves for the eyes.

The Pig Whisperer

A city child came running into the farm house.  “No wonder that momma pig is so big!  There’s a bunch of little pigs under her, blowing her up.”

Bacon calls to me.  It can wake me up from a sound sleep if I smell it.  Bacon goes on, with, or next to every edible thing on the planet and it should be classified as its own food group.  Cooking it was a challenge until I realized that frying it up in strips is so “Old School.”   Here’s my Pig Whispering Frying Method:
  • (1)  Use scissors to cut the slab into 1-1/2″ sections.
  • (2) Separate the sections in a frying pan, pop on a lid, and sizzle using medium heat.
  • (3) Stir every so often.
  • (4) Inhale deeply and let the aroma transport you to heaven and back.
  • (5) Do not drain.  Watch and let it spark and pop in its own juices until a rich, deep crispy color is achieved.
  • (6) Place finished pieces on a platter that is lined with a paper towel.  Enjoy!
I use the leftovers (yeah, right) in salads and on sandwiches the next day. 
Sometimes, I get smart and cook up two packages at a time
–just so I have leftovers for the week.
How does a pig write home?  With a pig pen.  Why did the pig go to the casino?  To play the slop machines.  What do you call a pig with three eyes?  A piiig.    Did you hear about the pig who starting hiding her food in November?  She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.  How did the pig beat the cow at Monopoly?  He built hotels on Pork Place.  Is it true that a barrel of pigs went over Niagra Falls?  No, that’s just a bunch of hogwash!

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