Famous Last Words

“When I die, you’re never going to get it this good.”  That’s what I tell my husband on Saturday mornings, while stirring his pot of Cream of Wheat. I make him beg for it.  And he does.

He loves my Cream of Wheat.

Haters, don’t hate on my Cream of Wheat until you have made it and tasted it my way.  It is a steaming, creamy bowl of hot deliciousness flavored with brown sugar and Vietnamese cinnamon that is topped off with a heavy pat of real butter.  Handcuff and arrest me now because this recipe is a crime.  Suck it Martha Stewart.


In two large cereal bowls, place:

1.5 tsp. butter

3/4 tsp. high quality cinnamon (there is a difference!)

one rounded tablespoon of brown sugar.

Set aside

Bring to a near boil in a pot on the stove:

(with medium flame and stirring occasionally to prevent burning)

4 cups WHOLE milk

1/2 tsp. salt

When milk is steaming and almost ready to boil, add:

1 cup regular Cream of Wheat (not instant)

stir constantly with a long handled spoon until mixture thickens

Pour pot contents into ready made bowls and stir.




Who Needs Lasagna

pizza 7

Here’s the art of the “quickie” pizza pie!    Instead of hand tossing a crust (Martha Stewart needs to die), I cracked open a can of Pillsbury Pizza Crust Dough and pressed it into a greased 11×14 baking sheet.  Set the oven on 400.  Get ‘er good and hot.

Next I went to my cold bin of misfit food:  leftovers that had almost been forgotten.  There, I found a few mini wheels of salami, some diced pepperoni, BACON BITS, and a little sliced ham to create a meat-lover’s pizza.

Luckily I had a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese and a container of orphaned Eye-talian cheeses.  There was a basil plant on my window sill that needed a trim.  Grabbing a 14.5 oz. can of tomato sauce from the shelf and a pot to throw it in, I fired up a burner to reduce and thicken the sauce while the crust was baked naked for 8 minutes…just like the package says. Ok, I added the naked part.

To the simmering sauce I added some garlic, onion flakes, red pepper flakes, and 2 tsp. of Italian seasoning.  Stirred that till the oven buzzer rang.  Grabbed the half baked crust out of the oven and went into assembly mode.  Crust, sauce, cheeses, meats.  Badda Boom, Badda Bing.

Popped the whole thing back in the oven for 8 more minutes to melt the cheeses, heat the meat, and fill the house with bacony pizza goodness smells. The whole process was 16 minutes.  Who needs lasagna?  This pizza was gone in 60 seconds.

The very best part about making this pizza was when I looked out the kitchen window and saw my sweet hens digging up worms in the backyard!



The Pig Whisperer

A city child came running into the farm house.  “No wonder that momma pig is so big!  There’s a bunch of little pigs under her, blowing her up.”

Bacon calls to me.  It can wake me up from a sound sleep if I smell it.  Bacon goes on, with, or next to every edible thing on the planet and it should be classified as its own food group.  Cooking it was a challenge until I realized that frying it up in strips is so “Old School.”   Here’s my Pig Whispering Frying Method:
  • (1)  Use scissors to cut the slab into 1-1/2″ sections.
  • (2) Separate the sections in a frying pan, pop on a lid, and sizzle using medium heat.
  • (3) Stir every so often.
  • (4) Inhale deeply and let the aroma transport you to heaven and back.
  • (5) Do not drain.  Watch and let it spark and pop in its own juices until a rich, deep crispy color is achieved.
  • (6) Place finished pieces on a platter that is lined with a paper towel.  Enjoy!
I use the leftovers (yeah, right) in salads and on sandwiches the next day. 
Sometimes, I get smart and cook up two packages at a time
–just so I have leftovers for the week.
How does a pig write home?  With a pig pen.  Why did the pig go to the casino?  To play the slop machines.  What do you call a pig with three eyes?  A piiig.    Did you hear about the pig who starting hiding her food in November?  She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.  How did the pig beat the cow at Monopoly?  He built hotels on Pork Place.  Is it true that a barrel of pigs went over Niagra Falls?  No, that’s just a bunch of hogwash!

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