Old Man Winter Needs to DIE

When that cold-hot-cold-snow-melt-ice-hot-cold-windy-slushy in between season called March in Michigan gives me a headache, I chug a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows to quiet the fever.  With a blankie wrapped tightly, I keep warm, waiting for camping season.  Last year the fever hit when the sun came out and melted all the snow, exposing some green for the first time in forever. To top that off, I saw a skunk in the road and had to wonder if it meant six more weeks of anything?

Then I spied my first robin bursting with blue eggs, as she collected sticks and little pieces of this and that to pad her nest.   I’m deliriously dreaming about roasting hot dogs over a snapping flame –with a stick customized by my trusty “Swiss”.  My hibernating mind is starting to wake up with the crocuses and it drifts above my consciousness, letting in the smell of cowboy coffee percolating in my Grandpa’s dented pot as I listen to bacon sizzling in a heavy cast iron skillet.

There is nothing like the sound of kerosene gas flowing up into a Coleman lantern at night which, upon ignition, takes on a life light of its own–bathing us in soft yellow hues.  Every kind of insect is attracted to it’s nectar core. I can see my Dad striking the match and posting it on a nail, way up and off to the side.

Soon it will be time to go mushroom hunting and time to put all the lawn chairs in a circle around the fire and time to sing Three Dog Night’s Joy to the World and time to collect mint leaves to brew Grandma’s mint tea and time to gather drift wood in the bow of a row boat and and time to pick daisies and black-eyed susans and time to wear flip-flops and time to chop wood and time to catch a fish and time to discover new trails on hikes and time to see eagles soar and time to see deer in the woods and time to catch a lightning bug and time to skinny dip and time to tell ghost stories and time to drop blueberries into a tin cup and time to appreciate a full moon and time to dig up a can of worms and time to take a picture of a sunrise and time to grill and time to just be happy and time to open the graham crackers and time to fire up the ‘ol 1964 Johnson 20 and time to strip down into your skivvies and crawl into the sack….exhausted from not having enough time when it comes to camping!

When All The Stars Align…A Moment Like This Is Captured On Film

dock-dog

We pulled up anchor and headed back to camp with a boatload of fish. The August sun was hot and our bellies were empty.  There was only one cola left in the cooler and Mother Nature was calling.  On approach, we slowed down to witness a four legged athlete named Dock–and HE CAN FLY.

We cut the engine and drifted, in awe, when we saw how high and tight his moves were.  Dock, a German Shorthaired Pointer pup, had “Zee German Engineering” running on all four cylinders and he was stroked and bored!  His owner cartwheeled the dummy time and time again…and then the magic happened. It really was something to behold.

CLICK this orange link and WATCH this Amazing Athete

 

Big Bull Moose Sighting!

Big Bull Moose  

Click on above video link!

Since the 70′s, when every day tee shirts caught on, I’ve resented each Yooper tee with moose on it.  Hey, shirts with black bears and beaver shots are ok.  Celebrating slogans like “Say ya to da UP, eh?” or those making fun of Beer Camp, Pasties, and Trolls living south of da bridge are good.  I’ve just got a 50 year grudge with Moose shirts.  Until I saw an incredible bull moose tear it up on U.S. 2 at the MI95 junction in Iron Mountain. What happened next blew me away.

This mature bull shredded everything in his path as he filled his tank on berries and brush leaves.  He seemed nice enough and sort of tame.  Traffic came to a standstill and impatient folks bailed out to see what the commotion was.  After they figured it out, each raced back to their trusty rusties to retrieve cell phones and cameras.  Folks began gathering quick and there were more oooohs and aaaahs than fireworks on the 4th of July.   Sparks shot off the nearby cell phone tower as callers lit it up.   Eventually, every bar stool within a five mile radius was empty. We had us a spectacle–a true Yooper miracle…until a guy wearing steel toed Carhartt boots said, “Hey, hold my beer!”

 

Get off at Exit 69 on Big Beaver Road–How Hard Can it Be?

“Big BEEverr” Pronouncing this major artery through the city of Troy, Michigan almost always draws snickers from out-of-towners.   It is embarrassing to give them directions in this town to anywhere, even a place as simple as a shopping mall.  I blame dead folks: the ones who long ago snickered at leaving us this legacy.   They know what they did.

These 1950′s engineers were in charge of road planning.  They selected all the junctions as I-75 was designed. Big Beaver Road, which was originally named in the 1800′s after a nearby beaver pond, was assigned (cover your eyes, kids) EXIT 69.  If these clowns had added one more intersection before or after Big Beaver Road, a lot of teens and t’weens would have had nothing to giggle about.   Worse, the old Playboy Club, was there, further perpetuating the urban legend factor. Take heart, Michiganders, we are in good company:

 

 

 

 

 

Kentuckians don’t want you to know is that there are two villages in Northern KY: Beaver Lick and Big Bone Lick.)

For those of you needing some extra R&R, you could pull over here: 

THIS IS ABUSE!! I know because I am an animal expert.

Bloodhound Pup

Click on the orange link above and see a Puppy who doesn’t want to take a bath. The way she is grabbing him under the arms is where a pressure point is and it’s making him paralyzed! This sweet pup will suffer for the rest of its life and may not walk properly.  Watch what this woman does to the dog time and time again. I’d also like to point out that I’m totally bullshitting and this is the cutest thing ever.

 If you think this is abuse, just stuff it and enjoy more… 

 

They play us, you know.  This German shepherd was limping for 2 days and his owners couldn’t find anything wrong with him. They started suspecting he might be faking so decided to set up a video camera while they were gone to see if he really is hurt. When they got home and watched it, he was chasing the other dogs all over the house not limping one. Next, you see the people walk through the door on the video and he immediately starts limping again! BIG FAKER!! After ignoring the limping for 2 days he finally gave up.

Busted Brutus plays dead as soon as he sees the leash come out for a walk or a bath. He is not a fan of anything that requires effort. He also cries when he wants a treat.

My own dog, a German Shorthaired Pointer, flops down at the rear of my Tahoe feigning hearing loss when she figures out she isn’t going bye-bye.  It gets more pathetic when I call her to the front door and she becomes “paralyzed.”

Dog owners everywere:  BEWARE of cuteness overload as our pets play us like fiddles!

 

What’s the Big Deal?

Continued….part 4

Happy Harriet hopped into my car to go bye-bye again.   Last time we went on a big camping trip so this time she was definitely up for another adventure.  She got one, too.  I dropped her off at the vet to be spayed.  

Harriet had never been to a veterinarian’s clinic before so she was still happy.  I was the one who ended up blubbering when I relinquished her to the techs.  I  imagined her waking up in pain and thinking that she was alone or dumped.  I begged them to let me tie my scarf around her neck so that when she “came to” she could smell my smells and know that I still cared. I couldn’t bear the thought of her thinking she was abandoned.   That’s when I realized I had turned into a “helicopter mom”.

Two days later she graduated from that blasted, shin and calf bruising cone into a sporty blue blow-up donut and insisted on helping me with chores.  We went out to the chicken coop and she helped me collect eggs.  I might have dropped one “on accident” but it was gobbled up right away so I can’t be sure.  Then we filled a big pail of water for Ruby and Stella, my little goaties.  Quality Control Specialist Harriet chomped at the tap water as I filled the goat bucket.  She likes goats.  She gets right up to the red fence and they face off.  Eventually somebody snorts and scares the bejesus out of the others and then they all start running around like buckaroos until the stare down starts up again.

Each morning and evening I slathered ointment on her sutures and she looked up with eyes that said, “What’s the big deal?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AMAZING ISR – (Illinois Shorthair Rescue) – FACTS

Every dog ISR rescues is given the best possible medical care.  They are microchipped, heartwormed, Frontlined, spayed or neutered, and any bumps or suspicious lumps are removed and biopsied.  Broken bones and torn knees are surgically repaired by  veterinarians within their network, who discount their services.   They make sure Heartworm positive dogs get the care they need.  ISR rescue dogs are vetted for temperament and they are  fully vaccinated. Foster families get to know them and work hard to turn these abandoned dogs into excellent canine citizens that anyone would be proud to own.  100% of any monies donated are used to treat and rescue GSPs.  All the administrative and “boots on the ground” work is grass roots, volunteer.

Everyone can do something to help; it doesn’t have to be a financial commitment.  Maybe you can jump on a transport–where you might pick up a dog from a foster home and deliver him or her to a forever home!  I’ve done this and it is the best experience!

Maybe you have old blankets, towels or sheets with holes in them that are too yucky for Goodwill but perfect for a dog who has never had anything soft to sleep on.  Food and cleaning supply donations are appreciated.  Just spreading the word via your own facebook page is awesome.

If you shop on amazon.com, and want to support any cause or any breed rescue, register at smile/amazon.com and a percentage of everything you were going to purchase anyway will be donated to your cause!

Illinois Shorthair Rescue
Gurnee, IL 60031
Phone: 847-276-6995

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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